"A friend called me today and asked me about praying for God to do a miracle and heal me. My friend wanted to know what I thought about this. I will tell you what I told her. I think that God does not need to heal me to prove He is good. I think that I will live exactly as long as He wills it. I pray for God’s will to be done. I believe that there is a perfect plan in place set forth by a benevolent and loving God. And if it is His will that my testimony include a miracle it will, but if it does not than that is OK too. I am totally accepting of however this fight ends. I do not even care how many rounds it goes. Its me and cancer in this ring , you all are spectators. And if God steps in, fine. If not that’s OK too. In my heart I believe that we are supposed to allow God to work in our lives, even in ways that we do not understand or enjoy.
Just because I talk about death and do not expect a miracle does not mean that I am not fighting. I assure you I am. I am taking tons of toxic medication and dealing with all its side effects in the belief that it can and will heal me, even if only for awhile."
How beautiful is that? If that doesn't deserve an Inspirational Blogger Award I don't know what
does. Andrea, this is for you. Gee, hope I did that right.
My oncologist recommends that I leave it in for the life-span of the product, which is five years, due to my high risk of recurrence. I've been OK with that. However, since my switch to a PPO insurance this past January the maintenance on the dang thing has become cost prohibitive. I have to get it flushed every month which costs me about $55 between my co-pay and share of cost each time I go in. That really adds up. So, we've agreed to take it out. Yeah! One more step closer to normal - even if it was a fiscal-based decision not a health-based one.