So... I finally watched it. Between kids, End of Fiscal Year at work, the beginning of the school year and just plain ole living I've been having a hard time watching the news let alone anything else. Thank the good Lord for TiVo. It is proof He loves us, is it not...
Well, Crazy Sexy Cancer was not what I expected. But I really liked it. I'm not sure exactly what I expected, actually. Maybe I expected more gloom & doom. More glorification of the struggle. What I got was reality. The good days when you feel like you can take on the Big Bad Cancer Monster and WILL NOT LET IT TAKE YOUR LIFE SO THERE AND GO TO HELL BY THE WAY. And the bad days when you don't even get out of bed before you're fighting back the tears and just know that if someone, anyone looks at you sideways you'll melt into a formless puddle of gel and be unable to function.
Kris Carr showed admirably that life is all about the living and that cancer part of that living. The lives she chose to highlight were exemplary. They were all women who have chosen to continue living beyond their diagnosis of whatever cancer has besieged them. There was a great message of hope in Kris' film. And also of love.
The finding of love and getting married is, I feel, a supreme act of faith and hope. I'm sure all of us who have been diagnosed have felt that same overwhelming sense of being a burden. An emotional burden on our families. A possible financial burden on our husbands. A psychological & potential physical burden on our children. A burden none of them signed up for. Would they have signed up for it had they known the future? We'll never know. But Kris Carr knows. What a lucky woman.
WhyMommy asked me if I found it hard to watch. Not at all. Although, I did wonder at what kind of life one must have to be able to make curing yourself a full-time job. I actually have to work for a living. Otherwise, Kris and I seem to have found the same summit from which to view the world. "Cancer is a catalyst." she said. I couldn't agree more.
Cancer helped me see that I had certainly better stop living my life for "tomorrow" because it just may not be there. But today is. So enjoy it here and now. I do things that I would have been frightened to do pre-cancer. I did a zip-line tour through the Mexican Rain Forest. I stepped off that platform without a second thought and never looked back. I'm a bit afraid of heights - always have been. Not really anymore. I did a giant half pipe waterslide with my son that I NEVER would have gone on in my other life. But there are lots of ways to die & I'm fairly sure mine doesn't involve an inner tube.
Sarah from Killer Boob has asked if Crazy Sexy Cancer is worth the watch. Well, I think it is. It might be a bit harder to watch if you are in active treatment at the moment. But I feel it's important to see the whole picture. To see that life goes on. Love goes on. Even with metastatic disease it goes on. Plus, there's a lot of loonies out there. And you can stick wheat grass up your bum.